Until this day, reading this makes me cry…

I found myself praying for peace today. I’ve been in and out of my mind a thousand times. I know You heard me.I know I wasn’t alone in that room,shaking with the fear of fear,the harrowing loneliness. I cried out to You on my hands. On my knees. With my face pushed down against the ground. If I could have gotten lower, I swear I would.Because that is helplessness, the truest kind…The kind that knows nothing, not one leaf, or tear, or smile can be without Him.

I learned something today. Again.

This is dunya. Dunya. Not a place of ease. Only glitter. The place where you have to feel cold and hungry.
The place where you have to worry and feel scared.The place where you have to leave the people you love.
Where you can’t get attached, because even if you do, it doesn’t make it stay, it just makes it hurt when it doesn’t.The place where happiness and sadness are only players, waiting for their next line in a play…
Competing for their place on stage.The place where gravity makes you fall, and frailty makes you bleed.
The place where sadness exists, because it must.


But I’m still here, aren’t I?

The scar on my flesh reminds me of that. The burn on my arm left a scar that I love. I love it because it reminds me how weak I am.

How human.

That I burn. That I bleed. That I break. That I scar. Yes. It is here that I am. Here that I fall. Here that I cry.
Here, just the same, that You filled that room, and lifted me to humbleness, and an acute knowledge of my own powerlessness and excruciating need for You.And then you took care of it.

Focus on getting better, not necessarily on achieving the best and as long as you do that, you are more likely to achieve what you want then if you had tried to do everything in one go. Real life teaches us to take small steps if we want to go anywhere. This is why we learn to turn over before we can learn to crawl and why we learn to crawl before we can learn to walk!